ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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