sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
