HIV tests are more positive than that guy
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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