***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
