Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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