remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
