do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I didn't notice because vodka
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
