What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
