he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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