i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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