Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
