He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
areolas are like halos for boobs.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
