There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
