oh god the rape fog is back!
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
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