she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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