3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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