Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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