I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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