If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
