here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
