Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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