We got so high we made milksteak
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
