so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
