Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
