So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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