Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
