I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
