Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
