what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
It's official drugs can't kill me
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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