It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
