all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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