My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
17 year olds will be the death of me.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
