im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
