don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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