I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
