is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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