I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
