Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
