i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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