apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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