Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
