I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
