How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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