Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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