Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Send help, water and tortillas.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
