I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
