New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
