READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
then he tried to convert me to islam
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Randomize
