Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Randomize
