physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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